Shattered
by huntermoreno
Summary: She'd been in my life ever since I was born. She stayed there, right by my side, even when I wasn't so sure if I wanted her there. I loved her, but I hated her. Julia was my entire life, and now that she's gone, I don't have anything.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story is basically telling what I think might have happened before Julia died. It's not just the night of her death though. It's about a year or so leading up to it. It's AU a bit. One of the things that is different in this than from the show is that Eli has always attended Degrassi. He's not a new kid, and Julia attended it as well. This first chapter is mainly a long prologue of Eli explaining what happened. The rest will most likely be switching back and forth from Julia's POV to Eli's POV in the third person. I just love this pairing, and after seeing last night's episode, it kind of inspired me to write something like this. Let me know what you think! Second chapter should be up today, mainly because I have nothing better to do and I want to write. :p

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Degrassi or Degrassi itself.

**Shattered  
Chapter One: My Best Theory**

For as long as I can remember, I've always had Julia. Hell, even before I can remember. I met her the day she was born, merely three months after I was born. Our mothers were best friend's, and they were in the same birthing class together. They used to hang out constantly, and soon, our fathers became pretty close too. They were like one big happy family, and when I was born, it was no surprise that Julia's mother, Lauren, welcomed me into their family as well. She and Julia's father, Steven, were my God parents. (Ironic, because I don't believe in God, especially not now.)

When Julia was born, our parents had already decided that we were going to be best friends. I had no choice in the matter, not that I minded. It wasn't like I had the choice to become or not to become friends with her. They set up play dates for us when we couldn't even lift our heads. They laid us in the same play pen to take naps. If my family went on vacation, so did Julia's. When Julia was sick and couldn't come outside to play, I felt like someone has stomped all over my heart. She was my other half, the love of my life, my best friend. Now that I think about it, I wish I would have had the chance to tell my parents I didn't want anything to do with her. I wish I'd never met her.

She's made my life a living hell.

I guess you really can't say that she has. It's more like her death, and the fact that she existed before her death, and the fact that she had every part of my heart. I'll never admit to that though. I'm too good for that. It's too hard for me to admit it, because without Julia Culler, I'm completely broken. I'm lost. I'm pretty much slipping deeper and deeper into depression, but it's not like I mind Like I've said before, I would much rather feel the pain then nothing at all. I wasn't always like that. I wasn't always dark, and I wasn't always dressed in black. In fact, I guess at one point you could have called me a pretty normal kid.

Julia had been the more outgoing one for the longest time. After her first year of high school, she just kind of started to with draw herself. It wasn't because of the first year of high school though. Grade nine was blissful. But the summer before grade ten was the worst summer of all for Emily. Her mother died in a car accident, and only a few months later, her father was married and all ready to make a new family. Obviously, Julia was completely against this. She hated her step-mother with a passion. She said she was nothing like her real mother, nothing like her at all, and it caused problems for her. It changed her. I think something else happened besides just her fighting with her step-mother.

But when we were kids, she was the one who taught me everything. I never once listened to what my parents said, but if Julia reiterated it? I listened to every word she said. I loved hearing her voice. It was like a choir of angel's to me. But that's besides the point. My earliest memory of Julia Rayann Culler was not only one of the best, but my first kiss. I can still remember it so plainly.

_She was wearing a pink peter pan collared shirt with denim overalls on over top of it. Her feet were bare, with just a dash of pink nail polish on them. Her hair fell in deep red ringlets all the way to her mid-back, and her emerald eyes sparkled so beautifully in the sunlight. It may sound completely creepy to say that now, especially since she was only six years old, but even then, she was the most beautiful girl I knew. Julia had a sprinkling of freckles across her nose; just enough to be noticeable. Her left front tooth had just grown back in from loosing It, and she had a butterfly clip in her hair. She sat across from me in the sand box, grinning like a fool. "Eli, you did it wrong," Julia told me, giggling._

"I don't know how to kiss a girl, Jules. Other than-"

"Other than your mommy?" Julia teased, sticking her tongue out at me.

I blushed a bright pink, sighing. "I guess,"

"Eli, put your lips like this." She told me, puckering her lips up and pointing to her mouth. Once I followed her command, she leaned forward and pecked me on the lips just once. "See? That's how you kiss." She added, still giggling.

She's in each and every one of my memories, up until the day of her death, and even then in a few afterward. I loathe her now, and everything about her. Leading up to her death, everything changed. Our relationship went from perfect, to rocky, to shit storm. I didn't know how to handle It in the slightest. We fought constantly. She cried for no reason. I was the most confused boy on the face of the earth.

This is the story of the year before Julia's death. This will explain any questions you have, and anything you've been wondering. This will explain the reason as to why I think I killed her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Shattered  
Chapter Two: Little House**

_December 18, 2009_****

Spending the weekend in Fiona's cabin was more than enjoyable. It had been freezing lately. Julia didn't mind the cold though. In fact, she loved being cold. It was better to be cold than to be hot. She'd dressed in a pair of sweatpants and one of Eli's old long sleeved thermals that he wore under t-shirts. Declan and Fiona had made hot chocolate not too long ago, and Julia was settled in the picture window, staring out at the snow with a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. Eli had gone upstairs to change, she was pretty sure, but she was enjoying the quiet and solitude anyway. It was much nicer than being at her own house, hearing people fighting or being sworn at constantly. Her step-mother, Jodie, didn't have much to be desired unless you were a man. She was beautiful, Julia would give her that, but her insides were uglier and darker than the pits of hell.

Jodie tried her best to get Julia out of the picture. Her and her younger brother, Teddy, were the epitome of annoying to Jodie for some reason. They didn't get into anything, really. Teddy was three and he still seemed to be a fairly well behaved child. Perhaps it was the fact that they were using up all of their father's money, or maybe the fact that they were even around. She'd called Julia 'the goth bitch' so many times to her face, but when her father came around, there were absolutely no problems. Jodie was an angel. She wrapped her arm around Julia and called her princess, told her she was beautiful and told lies that put on a wonderful show for Mr. Culler. She'd slapped Julia around a few times, and every time, she had that sick smile on her face. Her step-mother wanted her gone, and for tonight, she let the woman have what she wanted. After all, it wasn't normal that her father had agreed to let her go off on her own for the night. He would have said yes a thousand times over if he knew Eli was going.

He trusted Eli.

Julia took a sip from the hot chocolate, recoiling at the heat. "Damn," She whispered to herself, looking back out the window at the snow that was sprinkling down on everything. Maybe they'd get snowed in an have to stay at the cabin for a few days. It'd make her life a little bit easier when she got home. She would have had a few days to collect herself, and maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be so quick to snap on Jodie. After all, her father had married her. There had to be something good about her besides sex. Julia was in pretty deep thought, and suddenly she felt hands on her hips. She jumped, letting out a shriek and looking behind her. The color drained from her cheeks when she saw that ever so familiar smirk staring back at her. "Fucking hell, Goldsworthy," She said in reply, breathing a laugh. "Do you want me to spill this hot chocolate everywhere?"

Eli laughed, shaking his head and hooking an arm around Julia's waist underneath of her shirt. "Nah, I just thought you needed a little bit of a fright in you." He told her, laughing softly and tucking a few stray red locks behind her ears. "You're not usually that jumpy either. Usually, you can sense me coming from a mile away. Something on your mind?" He asked curiously as she spun all the way around to face him.

She contemplated telling him everything about her home life right then and there, but she couldn't find it in her. It would ruin the entire weekend, and she wouldn't have that. Tonight was supposed to be a night where they could just be together. There didn't need to be any sort of trouble. "Yeah," Julia replied, looking down into her mug, then back up into Eli's eyes. "Just thinking about how in love with you I am," She lied, a fake grin plastered on her face. "And how happy I am to be finally getting some time alone with you." Julia set the mug down, hooking her hands around Eli's neck. "We're always with your parents or mine, and I love Cece and Bullfrog but... I love you so much more."

"You are such a suck up," Eli replied, laughing softly and pressing a quick kiss to Julia's forehead. "And a liar," He replied, wrapping both arms around her waist and lifting her over to the fire. "You're freezing," He observed, feeling how cold her skin was. "Are you the next Cullen? Your last names are similar," He teased, setting her down on the ground, then sitting down next to her. Eli reached behind him for a thick blanket from the couch, draping it over Julia first, then himself, and wrapping an arm around Julia. He felt her settle into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. "I love you too, you know, but I know you better than that. I've known you since you were born. There's obviously something wrong, even if you don't have the balls to tell me." When she explained how she felt about the parental situation, he shrugged. "I get it. We can do this more often."

Julia gave him a small smile. "I'd like that," She replied, snuggling up closer to Eli and gazing into the fire. He was right, she was kind of cold. In fact, she was more than kind of cold. She was freezing. She pulled her shirt closer to her, sniffing at it. It was Eli's so it smelled pretty prominent of him. He went on about the trust aspect, and how he knew something was wrong, and Julia simply shrugged in return. "Can't you just let me be about it? If there was something wrong, I would tell you, okay?"

"You wouldn't."

"You're about to turn this into a fight, Eli. You know that, right?" She asked, sliding out of his grip and spinning around to face him.

"If it's a fight, it's a fight. Whatever gets this... issue, out of your system,"

"I'll leave."

"Are you going to walk home? It's pretty cold, Jules. You could get frost bite."

"Do we always have to fight?"

"Do you always have to lie?"

Julia glared at Eli, narrowing her eyes. "I don't _always _lie. Most of the time when I do lie, it's to benefit you. You can't handle the things that I go through."

"Really? Okay Jules. Don't tell me. I don't want to know." He knew that would do the trick.

"Fine, you want to know? My step-mother is giving me trouble. Every time I'm home alone with her, she's doing something to me. She bitches at me about everything. She tells me I'm ugly, and that I'm useless, and that nobody wants me in that house. She tells me no one wants me _alive_. I don't believe her, but it's still the fact that somebody I live with says these kinds of things to me. She smacked me in the face the other day when I tried to leave the house," Julia rubbed her face with the sleeve of her shirt rather hard, getting the make up off and showing him the red mark. "I don't like being hit."

"You're not going home, Julia Rayann," Eli told Julia, pulling her into a tight hug. "You never have to go back there as long as I'm here. You can stay with me and my mom and dad..." He trailed off. "I know it's an awkward offer, but you can stay as long as you like. You can move in with me and sleep in my bed. I'll keep you safe. I won't let anybody hurt you, Jules, I promise. I'm sorry I'm so mean sometimes. It's just that-" He was cut off by Julia's lips. She kissed him deeply, cupping his face in her hands. When she finally broke away, he was still talking. "It's just that sometimes you really frustrate me. I just want to know why you're hurting."

"Eli?"

"Julia."

"Go to sleep." 


End file.
